Examining my path

If all goes according to plan, I will be finishing my quest to run in all 50 states in June or July of 2019.  I have other quests, of course...the Canadian Provinces and the counties in Wisconsin.  But a few years ago I did a sprint triathlon (not a relay) and have decided I would like to do another...but I want to do this one with more guidance than a book or my own guesswork.  I started looking into a coach, and have chosen one, I am spending a lot of time thinking about my path.  What do I want?  What am I willing to do? What is possible?

I have come to the conclusion that that last one is not the right question.  I know any number of people who will tell me that I can do anything I put my mind to and that nothing is impossible.  They mean well, I know, and are trying to be motivating.  I also know that pretty much all of us can do more than we think, and we can accomplish big things if we work hard (this is not the same as being able to do anything we put our minds to, btw). 

The real question here is, what are my priorities? And having identified those, what is it that I want and am willing to do? I am still working through this...and will probably continue to do so through my first months with my coach (I start in September). But this blog explores where I am with all of this now.  

I think people pursue recreational athletics for a lot of reasons, and I share some of those reasons with people...but I very decidedly do not share some of the common ones that I have read about.  My path is different from many, but I am not lost. Conveying what my path is, and what I want it to be, is now my task as I approach this coaching relationship. It is a coach's job to help you along your path...but you need to be able to tell them what that path is and where you want to go.  

Perhaps I should start by defining what it isn't...

It is not for the huge challenge. To be 100% honest, my life is challenging enough. For the last 18  years, I have been the primary family caregiver for a family member...my daughter.  She is doing reasonably well these last few months, and she lives in assisted living, so it isn't a 24/7 job physically, but the emotional component cannot be ignored. I also live with a couple of chronic illnesses, that are well handled, but require some energy. I am not saying "poor me" here...just saying that I am not looking for challenge for the sake of overcoming challenge. 

It is not to prove something to the world. I am 61 years old, and the older I get the less I care what the world thinks of me.  Soon I will be that little old lady in the Jenny Joseph poem who decides to, ".. wear purple with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me," (because she likes to and doesn't care what others think). Of course I am pleased if people say they admire my work or are inspired by something I said or did.  It is nice to be appreciated.  But I no longer set out to be admirable, if that makes any sense. 

It is not to win.  Or rather not to win in the traditional sense.  For me every time I toe the start line is a win...every time I hit the finish line is certainly a win.  You can tell by the look on my face when I finish a race that, that is truly winning.  Do I ever place?  Occasionally.  Do I like it when I do? Of course.  But it isn't the point.  Being out there is. 

Proof that finishing=winning

And here are some things it is....

Getting and staying fit is one motivation for my journey.  I'll admit to not being the best in terms of my diet, but working out still helps maintain better blood sugar..and keeps me stronger (if not as thin as I'd like).  There is still a tremendous difference from when I started...and I want to keep building on that.  

This is where I started!

Enjoying what my body can do is an another important factor. For a lot of my life, I have been concentrated on what I can't or shouldn't do....starting with problem hips, later a banged-up knee and a less than perfect back and of course just getting older.  I don't know how many times that I was told by both medical professionals and concerned family and friends that I couldn't or shouldn't do something.  I bought it for a long time.  But then I decided that I'd be conservative, but I would try.  I found that I had to be a little careful not to push too hard too soon, but it was miraculous how good it felt to move and sweat. And as I go through phases of faster and slower, I am still grateful for these feelings. 

Just preparing myself to succeed :)

Having fun though, is my main goal.  That means I wear costumes, build relay teams and do goofy stuff. But it also means enjoying the feeling of moving in a group environment.  I will never beat myself up for not being competitive. But I would not be happy if I didn't pursue my race days, with the same intensity and passion that my grandchildren exhibit on the playground.

...with all the passion and intensity that entails!

This may sound like I'm not interested in working hard, but I am and I will..and I'm looking forward to seeing what this year brings.