Autumn is my time of year!

(Thanks for the photoshop Glenda!)

I was born in early autumn, late September, just when the leaves are starting to change.  I always wanted my birthday cake to be decorated in Fall colors with autumn leaves...not roses or anything else.  I've often wondered if the time I was born had anything to do with my affinity for this time of year...because honestly I look forward to it all year long.

What do I love about it? Lots of things from the riot of colors and smells, to the cooler weather, to the odd new beginnings of back to school time.

I know I'm a bit different, but as a kid, I was always excited for school to begin each Fall.  I loved to learn and I did well in the classroom environment.  Oh, of course I liked the freewheeling days of summer, but I really liked the structure of school as well.  As I got older, I also looked forward to hanging with my particular girl posse at school during the week (as well as on weekends). Even as a professor I love the feeling of possibility that came with new students and the start of school. This year was a little weird, as I retired, but I am loving hearing about my older grand daughter's new adventures in middle school and the younger one's tales of the second grade.

I look forward to the trees changing color.  The red of the maples, the yellow elms and aspens, the golden oaks...all mixed with greens and browns.  We have some trees in our backyard now and I love getting up on an autumn morning and looking to see how much more they have changed.  I really missed the color palette of fall when I lived in the south and am glad to be where I can watch it happening every year again.

A long with the colors, there is, randomly, the smoky smell of burning leaves or an evening bonfire.  But that isn't the only familiar autumn smell that I like. The smell and taste of pumpkin spice anything is wonderful to me. Apple cider, fresh apple sauce and homemade apple pie likewise.  Also with cooler weather, I am more inclined to bake...fresh muffins baking, fresh cookies out of the oven...and especially the smell of homemade bread rising, baking and cooling mark autumn for me.

Cooler weather is good for other things too...outdoor workouts, especially runs are exponentially more comfortable. I'm generally speedier on the run in the October and November before it gets too snowy or slippery to spend as much time outside.

And then there are the Fall holidays....Halloween and Thanksgiving. Halloween is an obvious favorite given our love of costumes!  And for many years we have found at least one Halloween race to run in costume.  This year, like last year it will be the Pumpkin Run in Oconomowoc...because it fits our schedule.

Jake Blues of the Blues Brothers at last year's Pumpkin Run

Thanksgiving is different for us.  Our kids generally spend it with their Dad and Step-Mom.  And we usually run a Thanksgiving race and then help edit photos from the race.  We celebrate with the kiddos later in the weekend.  But these traditions are comfortable and wonderful for us.

Last year we ran a Thanksgiving race in Boulder City, NV (and edited at a distance)

As you can see, sometimes I even celebrate my favorite season in my costume!  So there it is, autumn is my favorite....what's yours?

Work in progress...adjusting to change.

Presenting at a conference in my academic persona

I have had a number of careers over the years.  I have been everything from a bartender, waitress and short order cook to a librarian to a business coordinator for a video game company to a librarian to a college professor.  And all the way I was very dedicated to my work...even defined myself by it.  And then, a year ago I retired.  But it didn't last and I went back to teaching for 9 months.  But now I have retired again...this time for real (I hope!).  That's a good thing, but it is also unsettling...what am I going to do with this chapter of my life?

So I am still finding my way, and will continue to be a work in progress.  But I have found a theme, which is not exactly what I expected it would be. So I want to talk about that theme, what I hope to do with it and how it is different from what I expected.

WHAT DID I EXPECT?

I will be totally honest.  As much as I was ready to retire, I feared that my life would be consumed by care-giving. Don't get me wrong, I love Glenda and I love my kids and grandkids and my mom, for that matter...and I want and expect to spend more time with them. Helping them is a good thing, and I want to do that. That said, however, I have been care-giving on an "extra" level for a long time for my daughter. 

This is Mel, my daughter

For many years after her accident she really needed my help on a high level, first helping with personal care, wound care, education, etc.  And later with coordinating medical care, housing, etc. It became so ingrained that I think I just assumed it would always be that way.

But here's the thing, Melanie is still a person who needs help and support and she still has health problems. But she also has a team to help her, she is in a safe place and as I am increasingly aware she is developing her own voice and is getting better and better at advocating for herself. It is time for me to truly be a mother to this adult...not a manager or care-giver.  

I will always want to spend time with her and be supportive, just as I like to spend time with any of my family...and wish to be supportive of them.  I am sure there will be struggles, but I'm actually looking forward to seeing how things progress. 

SO WHAT IS THE THEME?

Me before I started running

A little background, when I was in graduate school working on my dissertation I started walking and going to a women's gym called Curves just to help my brain activate.  Before this time, even though Melanie and Glenda were running and racing I was still claiming to be the world's biggest indoors woman. I was heavier, yes, but what I really want people to see here is that I was unfit, disconnected from my body and a little scared to try to change that.

One day Glenda was out walking with me and I was suddenly struck with an idea and without thinking I said it out loud.  I turned to Glenda and said, "D'ya think I could walk a 5k?  I'd like to try." Once she picked herself up off the ground, she encouraged me to do it.  And when we got home, we found one and signed up.

By the time I finished grad school, I decided my next big dream would be to train for a marathon.  About this time I also got a tattoo, which reminds me that there should always be dreams.  I realize I have appropriated a native symbol...but the idea of catching dreams is so close to my heart and I couldn't find a better way to remind myself (and others). So I thank that culture for my reminder. 

My reminder to continue to "catch" my dreams

I did that marathon in 2009, and though it was my only one, I have continued to train and race and try new things ever since.  It has not only made me fitter, it has improved my confidence...even though I never got very good at it.  I'm still slow, and not getting much faster...but it doesn't matter.  It is for me both my health regimen and my playground.  And I want to share it with other people like me. 

So the theme is PASS IT ON. PAY IT FORWARD. GIVE BACK.

CHEERING YOU ON!

I am not going to stop racing by a long shot,  but in the last several months, Glenda and I had made a concerted effort to cheer some local races instead of racing them.  And of course we do it in our own special way....with costumes and signs and sometimes music. 

The Blues Sisters cheering on their friends...and random strangers!

OTHER WAYS I AM THINKING OF PAYING FORWARD OR GIVING BACK?

In thinking about how I can give back, particularly to those who are just starting out or who are older, I began to think back over what I might have to offer.  One of those things is just support...mentoring, cheering, making myself available to help with training runs.

Then it occurred to me that both my research and my personal experience might help others just starting out. All the work I've done on play and also on the learning about self that comes with running could be turned into something.  And all the lessons I've learned about starting late in life and not being the fastest might have something to offer other beginners.

So I finally reached out to someone local who could help me find a way to mentor newbies and also possibly create talks or workshops.  And the response was positive. So we are in the planning and thinking it through process. 

Over the last several years I have come to discover what is important to me in a coaching program. And I finally seem to have found a coach who has the qualities that are important to me. I think those qualities might also be important to others.

Many older "adult onset athletes" or athena/clydesdale newbies, in particular seem to be somewhat intimidated by coaching...but could benefit from it. Even older and heavier and not new athletes like me can benefit. But it has to be the right kind of coach.  I haven't done much about it yet, but I'd like to get USAT certified and be a coach specializing in these types of athletes.  Stay tuned.

Finally, I think it is really important to document  those athletic moments (just as it is important to document all kinds of important moments).  I already work on a part time basis as an editor for Focal Flame Photography...a local company that photographs many local and regional events.  I hope to increase my involvement, and learn some new skills in the process. So stay tuned for that too!

So while none of this has come to pass yet...I am hopeful that some of it will soon, and I will keep considering more things. And, as always I will continue to be a work in progress.